Friday, March 6, 2009

When Breastfeeding's Not Okay

Ohio police recently stopped a woman who was using her hand-held cell phone while driving. That's illegal in Ohio, but that wasn't the only reason they stopped her. She was not only driving and talking on her phone, she was breastfeeding her baby at the same time. The woman was outraged that she was stopped, and said that she did not want to let her baby go hungry. So it was concern for her child that made her endanger the kid? The baby was not strapped safely into a car seat while being nursed by the cell phone-using/car-driving mommy. All she had to do was put up with the baby's crying for a moment or two, pull over, and feed the kid. Up until now, I've never been a big fan of "three strikes" laws. However, driving, phoning, and nursing at the same time are three strikes that deserve punishment. Imagine if Octo-Mom Nadya Suleman were driving while talking on the phone to Dr. Phil and nursing all eight of her babies at the same time. Yikes!

Where I live, using a hand-held cell phone while driving was banned beginning on January 1st of this year. So my family bought hands-free equipment shortly before that. We weren't alone, so I thought I'd never see another driver trying to balance his steering wheel and cell phone while cutting me off with a left turn. Boy, was I wrong.

Not a day goes by that I don't see people driving and talking on their cell phones as if the new law had never been enacted. I called the local police departments to see what we ordinary citizens are supposed to do when we see this activity. If we are pedestrians, should we run up to the car in the intersection and make a citizen's arrest? Are we supposed to honk or yell at the driver? Should we take down the license plate number and call the police?

Answer: None of the above. The police explained that a police officer must see the person committing this offense in order to cite him. They won't just take our word for it. Why not? Can't they just give us a lie detector test so they'll know we're telling the truth about the woman in that black SUV we see every day as she drives her kids to school and talks on the phone to set up a lunch date?

One member of the police department, Sergeant Horn, said that the good news is that according to police statistics, fewer people are using their handheld phones while they drive than before the ban. His feeling is that those who are ignoring the new law and not getting caught while driving and talking will eventually be spotted by a cop. I'm not sure if this feeling is based on statistics or his views about karma.

It's very frustrating to keep seeing people drive dangerously while they talk on the phone and not be able to do anything about it. Sure, we've all seen drivers do other dangerous activities like putting on make-up, eating, reading, kissing, and doing the crossword puzzle. What is so disturbing about the Ohio mom is that she took it to a whole new level by combining cell phone use with doing something else that she shouldn't be doing while driving.

It probably shouldn't shock me. This is the era of multitasking, and I should get used to it. But things are so different now. For generations, we heard about people who had sex in their cars. But those cars were parked! I remember "Benjamin" – the Dustin Hoffman character –in "The Graduate" enjoying the fact that "Elaine" was conceived in "an old Ford." If they ever shoot a remake of that movie, they could probably say that Elaine was conceived in a Ford cruising down the highway at 70 MPH while both parents were talking on their cell phones – and maybe doing their taxes, too.


  1. What a shame that we are so uptight in this society that you have to put a "Censored" sign across such a beautiful picture! When will we grow up?

  2. You can't be serious. Couldn't you see that Lloyd was kidding, that it was a joke, that the photo along with the title was playing with the usual idea that some people are offended by public breastfeeding? Grow up and get a sense of humor.

  3. face it, Lloyd, people are idiots.

  4. Ah! The "Entitled" Generation. If I feel justified in doing something, I may do it. Whether it's illegal, immoral, or even fattening, I'm entitled. Guess what? You'ze ain't. And, amidst all this economic misery, I believe the Silver Lining will be that the "Entitled" will get their comeuppance ... and have their behinds booted right through the Up-Rights [Field Goal - 3 Points].

  5. Whoa! Anonymous #2 above has a problem! Kidding or no kidding, it is very sad that this society in the large, thinks that breasts, babies feeding at the breast or any form of female nudity or exposure is either illegal, immoral, disgusting or stupidly even fattening!

    I love it that so many feel they are the keepers of the one and only true morality! #2 Anonymous, Did I really mean I love it? You're the one who needs to loosen up! The reality is that even though Lloyd was tongue in cheek, he couldn't have put that photo up without the "Censored" sign unless of course, it was a fake photo underneath!

  6. I had to read this column because I believe there is no way breastfeeding anywhere could be wrong. But I was wrong. DRIVING, cell-phone-yakking and breastfeeding SIMULTANEOUSLY is insane. We are not talking about aesthetics, we're talking about child-endangerment. Punishment? Yeah, make it draconian. Take away her cell phone...

  7. I'm always wary of women driving SUV's and vans while talking on a cell phone. Hey, if it's illegal in Ohio to drive while using the cell, then the driver was in the wrong. Obviously she doesn't respect the law or think about her actions. Sounds like so many other drivers on our nation's roads.

  8. I am a breastfeeding mom and I agree this is outrageous! I'll admit I have breastfed my son while going down the road but I was in the backseat with him and my breasts are large enough that I don't have to take him out of his car seat either. This mom in Ohio is the kind that sets breastfeeding back years. It's just now starting to become the norm again and people like her are ruining it.

  9. Stephanie - how did you happen to come across this column now? It was written quite a while ago. Just curious.

    Thanks for reading it and for your comment.


  10. I was just googling breastfeeding and it popped up. When someone says breastfeeding is not okay I have to read more and find out why they think that.


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